Journal #1

4/3/2015

12:38 AM

This world is too big and this body is too small. I want a whole lot to swallow, but I only have one mouth. I want to taste everything, to devour and savour what I see in my wake, but I only have one life. And it's limited. And it's short. And I only have one choice, only one time.

I always tell people what I want to become, each different to the other. I have many dreams yet to be granted, but I do not know which I have always most wanted. I am intelligent, sometimes not. I appreciate the aesthetics of life, but I hate irrational thoughts. I might be a genius that is not watered correctly as a seed. I'm incomplete, and I grew to be me. Sometimes I regret it. sometimes I don't. Sometimes I wish I had been pushed to my limit so I can grow to be stronger, like a bald eagle that breaks its own beak and talons against a rock, and plucks its own feathers until they all grow back.

Stronger than before.

Muscles grow back stronger when they are ripped, after all. I become stronger because of pain.

That is the balance of life. That is the black to the white, and the white in the black, and vice versa. That is why there is pain when there is happiness. That is why there is evil when there is good.

I must not complain, must not be afraid. There is a reason to every pain I endure. There is danger lurking in every happiness I get, and peace in every war I go through. There is always an end to everything, and a new beginning when there is an end.

This is life, this is not heaven. This is not hell. This is the balance of both. I get a set, I can't always be happy and I can't always be sad.

I must not be afraid, I must take all the risks. Remember of the danger that lurks, and the happiness that waits. Remember that this world is balance, and that I will not always be happy. But I will not always be sad either.

It all depends on what I do, and what I want to become.

I want it all, but I have to remember. I only have one life, one go, one chance.

I have to be brave, and choose wisely.